I did a bit of tidying up in my apartment. I cleaned out my entire closet, kind of like Eminem did in that music video, except I actually love my Momma.  My friend Tyrone inspired me to do it. He was talking to me about a book called, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Hatsune Miku. This books stipulates that you should only keep things in your house “that bring joy”, everything else either needs to be donated or burned.

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This book is great, and I haven’t even read it yet.

Since it’s been raining in Seattle, I went with donating. I started with my clothes. I learned I had dozens of shirts that I purchased within the past year that I have worn less than a dozen times. The price of shirts are anywhere from $65 – $80. That’s about a $1K of clothes that I never wear. And the pants..well…those range from $150-$200, and I tossed about 3 of those. One of those was a pair of perfectly fine sandstone colored khakis.

Why did I toss these pants? I despise them!  The last time I wore my khaki’s is when I was hungover getting a haircut last year, after a night of heavy drinking and waking up in front of my apartment door with no keys. A war story for another day…. After sitting in the salon chair for 1.5 hours in late June, I stood discovered I had been sweating through my underwear and into my pants. I had a giant wet spot right where my asshole is. I was so embarrassed that when I stood up I begged my hairdresser for some paper towels.

After frantically patting my ass for 2 minutes I realized this was not working. I then asked her if she had anything else. She motioned to the blow dryer that minutes ago was pointing at my head. So, at this moment, my hairdresser, Sarah, blow dried my ass in front of all the other clients who were getting their haircut. I think I heard someone say, “I’ll have what he’s having.” among the whispers.  The stained seemed to dissipate, but within 3 minutes it was back. I was having some serious ass seepage and the culprit was unknown.

Unfortunately, I had to walk home after that too, with this huge wet spot on my ass walking down 1st Avenue in Seattle. To cover the stain I started stretching my slim fit black T-shirt past my knees, so it would droop down like a Moo-Moo worn by Kylie Jenner or Justin Bieber. Every couple blocks or so I would try and check my ass out in a shop window to see if the stain was still there. It was tricky due to heavy foot traffic, so I stepped into a Taco Del Mar to do a closer examination in the bathroom.

They said I had to buy something to use the bathroom so I purchased a children’s bean and cheese burrito and proceeded to throw it into the garbage can and run into the bathroom. Things looked ok…but I wasted $5.67 so I was kind of pissed off.

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I was trying to make my shirt look something like this….

I eventually made it home, but was still locked out of my apartment. It was the worst day of my life.

 

 

 

 

I haven’t written on here in awhile. I was going through some rough times. To cut a long story short…I finally found out…after the course of 10 years…that I indeed have an alcohol problem.

Some folks might be surprised. Other’s not. I’m not sure what to say to either camp. But for me, alcohol has been problematic. I can’t handle my liquor, like some people can’t handle cigarettes. One drink, and I’m already at 6.

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June 2012…Hungover before graduating college

I’m going to save the war stories too. As in, I’m not going to talk about everything I’ve done with liquor. It’s not important, maybe I’ll throw it into a book on day. But for now, I want to move on.

I found a good program besides AA, and found a good accountability buddy from High School. He’s been through something similar and he’s been looking out for me. Thanks and you know who you are. The program is called Smart Recovery. It’s tenets are to take a logical approach to eliminating addictive behaviors. It has nothing to do with finding a higher power or repeating a credo. It’s based on psychology, where you logically look at your addiction to understand its triggers. You learn about what’s chemically going on in your body during addiction.

It’s a scientific approach to eliminating addiction, and I highly recommend it to anyone who finds the spiritual dogma of AA annoying.

I’m trying to craft a life where alcohol is unnecessary for me. A life where it’s involvement only complicates it.  As for coffee, it hasn’t generated any war stories. I’m keeping that addiction.