The Hershey’s Gold Candy Bar and the Collapse of Society

If you’ve been watching T.V. lately you’ve probably seen this incredible commercial from Hershey’s featuring pop-sensation extraordinaire Peter Gene Bayot Hernandez (or known by some as Bruno Mars).

The ad features a spinning candy bar coming out of a vat of salted caramel covered in peanuts and salty tasty pretzels. In background you can hear Peter Gene crooning his Top 100 hit (that has been popular with the millennial crowd); 24K Magic.

After seeing the ad 16 times my sister decided to purchase the candy bar. She said Hershey’s hadn’t released a candy bar since 1995 and this one looked “actually pretty good.” We picked one up at Target for $0.89 after purchasing a selfie stick for my niece’s birthday for $5.00.

As we were checking out I started singing the song in line, and mentioned the effective advertising scheme with the cashier. She laughed and said, “That’s nice.”  My sister became thoroughly embarrassed and said, “Please stop doing that, it’s embarrassing.” We walked back to the car, and my sister giddily opened the candy bar like a small child on Christmas day.

As the bar opened and she began to smell the peanuts, pretzels, and creamy caramel she mentioned, “This smells like a General Mills Milk and Cereal bar.”  After taking a bite, her hopes and dreams were shattered as she learned this candy bar tastes as good as Adam Levine’s music sounds (which is not good).10572000-mnc-bar-honey-nut-cheerios

I took a bite myself and instantly wanted to die. Why in the hell did Hershey’s spend millions of dollars advertising such a mediocre candy bar? Did they think if they put Peter Gene’s song in the ad people would think the candy bar tasted better? It’s false advertising and fake news.

We need to protect ourselves from these terrible ads. God speed.

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